Trying to explain the whole truth to a friend

The truth is just ugly and offensive to those who think “we are good with God”, so I have beat around the bush in the past. I was a "teacher of the Law" like in John 3. I was teaching... but didn't understand how to be born of the Spirit (and the church never taught me the right things either)...

It is the Holy Spirit that we are missing, He fills that empty place. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, they gave up their life in the garden with God, but also the spiritual life in them that which God breathed into them at creation. They did not die physically, but spiritually. We are all spiritually dead until Christ breaths His Spirit into us, but we have to respond to the whole truth about who He is and what He calls repentance.

The church doesn't teach the whole message.... the religious system of the day is Nicodemus.

After dark one evening, a Jewish religious leader named Nicodemus, a Pharisee, came to speak with Jesus. "Teacher," he said, "we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are proof enough that God is with you."
Jesus replied, "I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God ." "What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?"
Jesus replied, "The truth is, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives new life from heaven. So don't be surprised at my statement that you must be born again. Just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit."
"What do you mean?" Nicodemus asked.
Jesus replied, "You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don't understand these things? I assure you, I am telling you what we know and have seen, and yet you won't believe us. But if you don't even believe me when I tell you about things that happen here on earth, how can you possibly believe if I tell you what is going on in heaven?

There are 2 priesthoods (You can see them in the above passage, Jesus's priesthood and the world's), one blessed by God with eyes and ears to see and hear him (they are born of the Spirirt), one cursed (it sees only half the truth and functions only in the physical realm). It knows some of the things of God but God says they will never enter in and minister before Him (Ezek 44)… But it does not stop them from teaching.

I just found out that many churches, and I would say the majority in America, are under this curse of blindness. They have not found the way and are leading others astray, just like in the following verses. The pastors, priests, minister etc that we see are Pharisees. They know how to make the outside clean (by conveying or living by a moral standard), but never teach you how to clean the inside (how to reclaim the ground in your life for Christ, to tear down strongholds), because they don’t know or don't realize that they don't care. Jesus says this about them:

Luk 11:39
Then the Lord said to him, "You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are still filthy-full of greed and wickedness! Fools! Didn't God make the inside as well as the outside? So give to the needy what you greedily possess, and you will be clean all over. But how terrible it will be for you Pharisees! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you completely forget about justice and the love of God. You should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things. How terrible it will be for you Pharisees! For how you love the seats of honor in the synagogues and the respectful greetings from everyone as you walk through the markets! Yes, how terrible it will be for you. For you are like hidden graves in a field. People walk over them without knowing the corruption they are stepping on."
"Teacher," said an expert in religious law, "you have insulted us, too, in what you just said."
"Yes," said Jesus, "how terrible it will be for you experts in religious law! For you crush people beneath impossible religious demands, and you never lift a finger to help ease the burden.
How terrible it will be for you! For you build tombs for the very prophets your ancestors killed long ago. Murderers! You agree with your ancestors that what they did was right. You would have done the same yourselves.

See how they live by half truths, the outside is clean, but not the inside. They forget justice and the love of god. They beneath impossible religious demands, but never lift a finger to help ease the burden or to set the captives free. God does not know them and look at what He says about them: Fools, murderers. They understand the religious law, but not grace, mercy, whole hearted obedience. The scary thing is that they lead many astray who think they are doing it right and even on judgment day they will be so sure they were right, but the Lord will send them away. Look at this:
Mat 7:21
"Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to me as `Lord,' but they still won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven . The decisive issue is whether they obey my Father in heaven. On judgment day many will tell me, `Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.'
But I will reply, `I never knew you. Go away; the things you did were unauthorized."

Anyways, there it is in black and white, some people (even those who are serving in the chruch as pastor's or pastor's wives in my case) who think they are going to heaven are headed to hell because they are not hearing the whole message and responding to the whole truth. No beating around the bush. I feel called to tell the whole truth and that is where it starts. If it makes you upset, then please forgive me, I don’t mean it like that, but think about if what I am saying is true.