Austin Disciple Makers

Part 4 Rachel Indeed

2009-04-20T22:29:00.004-05:00

Now here is the wonderful lesson in all this. A few days ago I was with my wife and children at her mother’s house having dinner. My daughter was asking to see my wife’s wedding dress and pictures. I was playing pool with my son and my daughter came in with a picture from my wife’s college days a year or two before we meet. It was a picture that she thought was totally stupid and that I would make fun of. I saw the Picture and it happened…It was her…the girl I had looked for so many years. The picture captured my heart and in a moment Christ replaced my logic with the reality that indeed there was truly one woman for me. And I was with her!

When we got home that night sitting in the garage was a box headed for the thrift store. In it was the outfit she had worn in the picture. It was forgotten and seemed to have no value, but the Lord new that in that box was exactly what I had longed for when my dreams and hopes believed that he could do anything. And the reality is that He did…and now I know that I’m blessed enough to be with my Rachel and the years in between were worth the wait.

Rachels Hidden Idols

2009-04-20T21:46:00.002-05:00

Part 3 Rachel’s Hidden Idols

I remember when she told me… the dagger into my heart. It’s not that I didn’t think it could happen…I just did not think it would happen to me. That was other people…not a minister doing His will. No way.

Yet I came to realize Satan could care less Who, When Why or Where. Another man, a soul mate! The hardest thing to hear…It ripped my person into so many parts that I thought I would die. As we talked the pain grew deeper, the sin broader and the tragedy greater. No communication, no explanation just the result. Yet before I move own…You need to know that the Lord stopped this before it went to far…no details needed!

As the relationship foundation was severely cracked I knew that only Christ would be able to repair the damage. What I did not know was how long the misconception and lies has been in place. We started to move through the baggage that we both had hidden in the closets of our past….repenting and moving to the next. One after another until every sin was confessed (even the ones we thought) until we had laid our souls and secrets completely before the Lord and each other. It was here that we realized that we had for the first time though we had been married for fourteen years started our marriage and life together.

The Leah Years

2009-04-20T21:09:00.001-05:00

Part 2 The Leah Years

As we all know…The original kiss was ill fated for though his heart was ready the occasion was not and Jacob would have to wait for his destiny and love to unfold.

We had a fair tale wedding which ushered us into a new ministry. Everything seemed great and we appeared to be the example for all to follow. The kids came and blessing seemed to be rolling in. Yet in hidden regions of our hearts the Demonic seeds where begging to sprout…slow and unnoticed the uncertainty began to creep in. The old question was starting to surface is this really love…is this really the one God had for me. I would wrestle with the thoughts and defend my position with the logic that I had been taught in school. But as I would soon discover, the reality is this that all the logic in the world cannot convince a heart that there is not something missing.

Then the devils plan grew into a full grown weed wrapped around my very soul. But it was not my soul that he had won, No…it was not me at all…I had struggled I admit but he had something far more dastardly in mind for my marriage.

In short while I was working so diligently on the peoples church (I refuse to call it the lords church anymore) Satan was working on my home and my wife.

Rachel

2009-04-20T21:06:00.001-05:00

Part 1 Gen 29:20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him [but] a few days, for the love he had to her.

Have you ever wondered what it must be like to just see your destiny and fall in love? In a glance, watch your heart and soul escape the boundaries you set in place and fall in love without a word spoken or a even a touch…You just knew!

I used to think that was possible 15-20 years ago. When my heart was still tender and my opinion and thoughts were considered naïve. Long before the systematic rules of theology and professors great wisdom drown out my adolescent hope that all things where possible with God.

It’s 20 years later now and I have a story to share with anyone that will hear me.

Years ago I gave up on the notion that there was one person for me. I was instructed that marriage was about the right choice based on the Scriptures and that any one that fulfilled these items would be a fine option. This of course would open up opportunities (and with the right selection) further a young ministers career.

So I did just that…wanting to be Biblical and obedient I set out to find a good wife…a gift from the Lord. I met several good options…of course having my heart broke a few times along the way. Then as it would happen I met someone that met all the requirements and seemingly love was born, but under the surface a storm was brewing. Satan had begun his wicked plan to destroy.

What is Repentance?

2009-01-28T05:31:00.000-06:00

So what is repentance? The following six items come from Thomas Watson (a famous Puritan) who wrote about repentance. Please read this with an open Bible, so you can read each Scripture:

Seeing your sin – 1 John 1:8,10.
Sorrowing over your sin – We must do more than admit it. We must internally engage with it. Psalm 51:17; Isaiah 57:15; 2 Corinthians 7:9.
Confessing your sin – We must put our sin into words and agree with God that what we did was wrong. Psalm 51:4; Hosea 14:1-3; 2 Corinthians 7:11; 1 John 1:9.
Being ashamed of your sin – Watson: “blushing is the color of virtue.” Jeremiah 6:15; 31:19.
Hating your sin – Job 42:5-6.
Turning from your sin – Watson: “Reformation is left last to bring up the rear of repentance. It is not the heart of repentance, but the fruit of repentance.” Matthew 3:7-8; Acts 26:20.
At the very least, this means removing yourself as much as possible from places of temptation (Proverbs 4:14-17).
If your sin was against other people, then you must go to them and ask their forgiveness (Matthew 5:23-24).
If the sin involves stealing, then restitution must be made (Luke 19:8).

Repentance is necessary for God to forgive us (Acts 2:38; 3:19; 8:22). Forgiveness will not happen until these take place. If we do not repent we will perish (Luke 13:1-5).

Crutch

2008-12-31T13:02:00.000-06:00

"Atheism is a crutch for those who cannot bear the reality of God."

-Tom Stoppard

"How much do you have to hate somebody not to proselytize"?

2008-12-19T20:37:00.000-06:00

Avowed atheist Penn Gillette (from Penn and Teller) shares a few thoughts on witnessing. "How much do you have to hate somebody not to proselytize"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JHS8adO3hM

True or False:

2008-12-14T20:09:00.002-06:00

"Signs will follow those who believe: In [the name of Jesus], they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."

True or False:

2008-12-14T19:41:00.001-06:00

The sinners prayer is repentance.

Challenge:

2008-12-08T07:19:00.001-06:00

What in your faith and religions beliefs are you absolutely dogmatic about?

Prove it in scripture.

Look at this

2008-12-06T08:29:00.006-06:00

In Gen 3, the Lord tells Satan that His seed and Satan's seed will make war. It is interesting to read through the old testament looking at this theme. Isaac and Ishmael are the prefect example of this. Read below and see how Satan comes in and steals the Lord's blessing on Ishmael (even though he was not the son of promise, the Lord said He would bless him.)

"(Gen 16: 1- NOW SARAI, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar) as well as Ishmael's wife being Egyptian. The Egyptian sun god Ra was named after the protector of Hagar, Ra El. Gebal points toward Lebanon. And of course Assyria is the area now called Syria. "

Notice the war. Satan is coming right in to steal, kill and destroy. This is another defining moment where Satan makes a move and begins to reveal his plans and system. My husband says over and over, the old testament is a physical picture of the spiritual kingdom revealed in the new testament. As I grow in the Spirit, He is showing us that in the old testament He delivered the Israelites, His people, out of Egypt. This was His greatest act of deliverance. When Jesus came in the new Testament, he brought new wine skins and the kingdom became spiritual. So what is the spiritual picture of deliverance look like as God delivers us from Babylon, Assyria, EGYPT ?

If you don't get the cursed priesthood, don't read any further this will seem like blasphemy... but if you do, look at this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKG59NUdn8A&feature=related

The obelisk is an interesting object. According to our research, it originates from Nimrod. It is phallic and represents un-circumcision. In the masonic orders, it also represents man's ascension to heaven by good works. You will find many obelisks on your neighborhood churches in the form of steeples.

Also, we watched a very good video by Ken Klein. He hypothesizes that the masons and other related organizations are the current manifestation of Satan's system or mystery Babylon. So check this out and see what the Spirit would show you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LEljS3ib84&feature=related

If this is true, then you can see how Satan could cause all to follow the system, the beast, because the system is huge.

It is cool when you see these two systems and realize that the living body of Christ, His real church, is called "out, out". We are called out of the world's system and out of the church system.

hmmmm.......

It's that time of the year again

2008-12-06T07:40:00.000-06:00

Proverbs 18:17 - The first to present his case seems right,

till another comes forward and questions him.

It's that wonderful time of the year when pagans and atheists and liberals come crawling out of the woodwork to try and undermine Christianity. As we approach Christmas, many people use this as an opportunity to try and claim Christianity was borrowed from pagan religions and that many elements of the New Testament are copied from other beliefs such as Mithra and Isis, etc. I've received three such emails this week alone. Of course, any well informed Christian knows the history of Christmas and the pagan influences behind it, and that how we celebrate this holiday isn't in the New Testament. But it's also good to be armed against the claims that the stories of Christianity are somehow similar to those of earlier religions, which of course seems convincing at first, until we do an ounce of research.Anyhow, below is an article dealing with some of the more popular claims about Mithra and others. At the bottom of the article are links to more articles for those who wish to go more in depth.

http://www.alwaysbeready.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=124&Itemid=107

Merry Christmas!

An Insiders look at Discipleship Part 2

2008-12-03T19:33:00.002-06:00

There I was at dinner with key Spiritual leaders for a leadership training weekend (denomination not mentioned) as one of the key note trainers for this yearly event. Lots of people had arrived and were ready to learn the secrets that would jump start their ministries. The leadership team sat around enjoying their dinner. "But wait a second," I thought "what’s happening here?" I watched amazed as the drinks kept coming, and the table got louder and louder and even more obnoxious.

No boundaries. No consecration. No spiritual or physical responsibility to godliness. No commitment to the very thing they claim to practice and teach. And what’s worse is they justify their sin over and over again with their apostate teaching on Grace. Just think of it…Christ died on the cross to free us from sin so they like dogs could return to the vomit from whence they came. Only to teach their disciples to do the same by their example.

Mat 16:12 Then they understood that He did not tell [them] to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees. This committment to anything goes grace simply communicates the idea to people that there is nothing wrong with sin. Go ahead enjoy life keep on sinning your covered by God’s Grace. We Don’t seem to realize that this doctrine is in fellowship with darkness (Lucifer).

Mat 23 THEN Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to His disciples, saying: "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. "Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. "For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. "But all their works they do to be seen by men. They make their phylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments.
"They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, "greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, Pastor, Pastor (I added That) "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows' houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves."

Teach a class on discipleship, read about it, argue about it but please understand that the reason that the multitude left in the first place was Christ was actually going to require them to do it…to pick up their cross and follow him. To change their sinful life style, give up their positions and possession and follow him. Your rated R movies, your one too many social drinks, your night out with the kids practicing vandalism while toilet papering a home. Your real giving records, your foul mouth before church and afterward (not during). Your adulteress looks at the opposite sex. Your position and praise as a pastor.

People\Church: it’s time to repent so that you can experience the same reality that John the Baptist preached and the early disciples experienced. This is the beginning of your discipleship process. Not the self declared sinners prayer where men declare you holy and you put on the robes of righteousness over your sin, but a true deep and through look at yourselves and the things around you. Repentance. Ish 6. We do this in obedience to Christ so that Jesus can confirm your faith, not men.

Do you understand that God wants you to be able to function in two realms? Why are we so afraid of The Holy Spirit? Why do we grieve Him so? Don’t we understand that He desires to teach us in all things?

See biblical (not religious) discipleship requires commitment, consecration, confirmation and a lifestyle of holiness, sacrifice and godliness. This is not possible by using human or physical means. Your nature must be changed and trust me all your effort, study, fasting and prayer is not going to accomplish it. It is a work of the Holy Spirit ALONE. This is why so many people are still in Egypt (in bondage). They are practicing a form of godliness without any power- the very thing Jesus promised the disciples and the very thing many pastors, in bondage, declare to have passed away. If this was not enough, the complete process of discipleship- including men and women who actually model it- is so very hard to find. For over 20 years I have mentored pastors and struggled personally with this very issue. As a matter of fact, I just got off the phone with a pastor of a Calvary Chapel on the east coast that was just lamenting that he is struggling with why God won’t move like he reads in the Bible. But when you challenge the system with spiritual truth or point out the need for repentance, the walls go up and listening becomes very hard to do.

I have seen Presidents of Christian universities/colleges and seminaries, who are supposed to be the best of the best, fail miserably in discipleship- the very thing that every Christian should excel at because it’s the reason why we exist as a church (Mat 28). This is why I will not entertain religious men, those like Korah (numbers 16) who declare themselves holy because of their doctrines in which they claim so true. I find it an insult and frankly flirting with hell itself when they reject the very confirmation that every prophet, apostle and disciple has experienced from the foundation of Scripture itself: The Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

My heart breaks every time I see someone walk away from the very confirmation their hearts and minds need to be fulfilled in their faith. They hear the stories of healing; we experience them. They read about disciples being made; we make them. They hear about demons being cast out; we cast them out. They see that in Scripture there is joy unspeakable and they cannot find it. They memorize verses trying to overcome the bondage of sin; we overcome. They continue to talk about God moving; we move with God.

Discipleship is real and happening now…not in a class or discovered in a book. It’s experienced by faith and learned from a disciple maker. They may be in church, but most likely not. Many have ancient truth to show you…depth of Scripture that comes from the Holy Spirit Himself leaving the Pharisees and Sadducees scratching their heads and saying, "how do you know such things when you did not go to seminary?" These ways have been prophesied in the old testament, written about in the new, and experienced by many who have learned from the faithful remnant that still exist today.

"Come out of her my people!!!! "

An Insiders look at Discipleship Part 1

2008-12-03T15:54:00.004-06:00

There I stood with my mouth wide open, “did she really say what I thought she said?” She sure did!

“If you keep having those N (word) over here, I’m not going to allow

my kids to participate in this ministry any further."

Wow in the middle of America in 1998 I thought to myself.
And here lies one problem with our church system: it’s designed to fulfill the needs of the people (including the leadership) whether morally right or wrong. That’s not such a bad thing right, some might think. Well it is when we continue ministering to them and ourselves in our sin! Giving them what they want so that we can continue to keep what we want…the system, our jobs, our position, our fame, and frankly our sin and bondage.

Now before you begin arguing, let me clarify a couple of things…I’ve been around the church system for some time. I’ve got plenty of degrees from all the right places, have ministered in 5 different denominations across the states and have been on the mission field in other countries. I have served on elder boards, mission boards, youth boards, Christian education boards, councils, and sessions from local churches to state districts even semi-national offices.
So your going to have to allow me the voice to share from an insiders perspective for a moment.
The reality is that many people in church just don’t see the truth about their churches and leadership. Jesus comments on this very subject when he addresses the religious leaders of his time.:(NLT)

"Yes, how terrible it will be for you. For you are like hidden graves in a field. People walk over them without knowing the corruption they are stepping on."

When I was a youth minister years ago, I was constantly watching people exclude others that where not from the right side of the tracks. Nice youth groups, great programs and wonderful people on the surface, but the truth was that their hearts and actions where just wicked and seldom did any transformation occur or last. I would also like to point out these same children came and shared things with me about their parents that would make one cringe. I have mentored several young youth pastors and many of them have no concept of a godly life as they practice illegal activities to get the favor of their youth. This is not the justification Christ came to give.

As a pastor, I have been called out by elder boards because I have taught messages on holiness; I’ve had to defend myself for asking folks to bring their Bibles and, far to many times, have seen decisions made for material (money) reasons for the Glory of Church rather than for the Glory of God. I have seen affairs, cover-ups, pedophiles, homosexuality, and drunkenness in all levels and forms of leadership in many different denominations and churches all the way to the top. I have even seen a warlock, as a Senior Pastor.

If you think our government covers sin up,

you should spend a career in the American church.

Believe me, I could say more! I wish that I could say this was not the norm, but the reality is that this is the norm. The Church has really now become it’s own worst enemy in the goal of making disciples.

Brainstorming on Deliverance Issues for the "Formerly Religous"

2008-11-20T14:32:00.009-06:00

8 months into my new Spirit-filled life in Christ, I realize how many people, other than myself are wounded or in serious bondage from their experience with the institutionalized church and some of the ways it falls short in it's calling.

In my own life, this in an area Satan has reaped havoc. I married my husband, who was currently serving as a youth minister in 1995. I just felt excitement that he and I and the church were going to storm the gates of Hell and pluck people from the fire! Things went well until the gracious hand of the Lord , my husband, and his team grew the youth ministry from 4 to over 80 youth. At that number, the kids in church out numbered the adults. It was a church of about 100 members of which 60-70 would attend regularly, not including the kids. So on Sundays the kids took up the whole back two sections, until they were chided for always sitting in the back... then they moved to the front and everyone in the front lost their "usual seat". It is funny how people get attached to seats in church, like they own them, but you can see the dynamic.... The youth were overtaking the church. We (Micheal, I and the kids) thought it was awesome! And God was really at work there.

Anyways, we couldn't get the families of the kids to stay for various reasons. When we made suggestions on women's ministry, men's outreach, missions or obedience to the Great commission, we were met with uncomfortable looks. Until one day we had a meeting with the elder of the youth. He just flat out told us, they liked the church the way it was and didn't want to change. It broke my heart and I wept bitterly in front of him. How could they not want to grow? That is what we are called to do! He just looked at me sheepishly.

We left that church after a series of yucky events, but I and (I would say) many of the kids were broken hearted and disillusioned with the church after that season. Finally one day, the Lord spoke to my heart about forgiveness and said, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Man is imperfect. That is why he needs a Savior." It then occurred to me that the church (as I understood it at the time) was a gathering of sinners saved by Grace who met together. So sometimes, it would be imperfect. I let it go after a couple years as best as I could. But in each ministry, I have taken deep wounds to the heart and my faith as I have watched what I thought was God's church fall short over and over again. It was almost (and this is a lie that needs to be addressed) as if God was falling short. My faith began to fail and my hope withered... making my heart sick and bitter towards not only the church but the Lord. (I praise Him that He has shown me the truth and that He forgave me for this bitterness. He is always fair and right and He never disappoints when our expectations are in line with His word.)

Since encountering this discipleship movement and the 7 steps of freedom, learning how to really repent, and feeling the wholeness that comes from taking back the ground which Satan seeks to steal in our lives, I feel led to put together some deliverance stuff on this subject. I was certainly bound with chains of unforgivness, bitterness, hopelessness, cynicism, and disgust. And just for the sake of honesty, I will tell you that I still struggle from time to time with the issue of distrust of other christians. But I know if I trust the Lord, He will continue to heal me and give me greater discernment. I know there are others out there who need to work through these issues too. So I am going to brainstorm in the comment section about topics, renunciations, lies etc. and invite you to do the same. Maybe we can put something together that will really help set the captives free and give people eyes to the the living bride of Christ Chruch that He wants us to see and be a part of.

To God be the Glory!
Caryn

Cry out oh Watchman and do not be silent lest the blood be upon your own hands!

2008-11-11T15:24:00.005-06:00

And behind the veil of what is seen by the natural eye, a great event is being prepared: a war and a wedding feast will have their place in time. “Soon and not yet,” is the word that the watchmen gives as he strains his eyes through the darkness of the night mist. He can sense that just beyond the horizon a great brightness is preparing to break forth.

“Arise you sleepers, shake off your slumber,” he calls. “Come and fill your lamp with fresh oil. Trim your wick. Cry out in the streets, and do not let your voice be silent for the coming of the Great King is at hand. Arise and shine for your Light has come and the Glory of the Lord has risen upon you. Hoping, wait for the Lord. Be strong and of a good courage. Be strong and wait for the Lord.”

"Watchman" from The Watchmen
Paul Wilbur

The fruit of truth in my life

2008-11-06T10:19:00.002-06:00

Why am I writing this? I am writing to expose the level of deception in my life so that if anyone else feels the same way, they can know that they are not the only ones. Because this is my purpose, I am going to be very honest. I would ask that you not judge me and know that I am not sharing this because I am judging you. My purpose is to expose lies and half truths that I believed. Were the half truths enough to secure my salvation? I don’t know. I almost died once and I know I felt peace because I had responded in faith to what I knew. However I would say, although I held so tightly to the truth I believed in scripture, I hardly had the power to stay off the road to destruction. In the past few years I have listened to Dave Ramsey say “98% truth is still a lie.” I believe that. If you set a course and are two degrees off you will miss the mark! Maybe that is where grace comes in, but I was certainly missing much, much more than I should have been .
Many of you already knew my testimony from childhood, so I won’t start there. But I will say I was always earnest about everything I said and believed.
What you might not have know about me because I was such a proud person is that I have always had feelings of inadequacy, issues with intimacy and love, struggled with depression and guilt particularly related to my thought life etc. I have never really been completely honest about it, because I didn’t want anyone to question my faith or to question the power of the gospel in my life. Really, I guess I thought if people knew that I would let myself, them, and the Lord down.
When did I realize there might be a problem with my faith?
Ministering issues:
In 2004, we joined up with the Missionary church. We were going to plant a church. All of a sudden I found myself faced with these questions I had never had to answer. First, how do you build a church, when you don’t have a building? How do you save people when you don’t have any programs to run them through or attract them with? How do you share the gospel so that it is not offensive and comes across as good news? What is the power of the gospel today? (This blows my mind but I don’t think I realized I had a problem with my faith before 2004 because for me being in and serving in the church was feeding my spirit, but it was also feeding my flesh in some ways. Ooh that is a yucky thought, but honest.)
Personal issues:
Why didn’t I know the power of the gospel ? I knew the gospel had the power to save and I was not ashamed of it, but to me that was the promise of eternal life after death. As I understood it, almost every benefit including peace and abundant life seemed to be a position that we achieved in Christ that we would experience in eternity. If I were to be honest, my biggest personal frustration through out my life was that I just didn’t understand why if that Bible said I could take every thought captive, that I couldn’t. Just the effect of that in my life was huge because it caused me to doubt everything!
So what happened in April 2008? Why do I say now I am a Christian and then the work was incomplete?
What really happened is like what happened in Acts 18:24 (not that I was mighty, but I was versed in some scripture ) and in Acts 10 with Cornelius. I was a god fearer like Cornelius. But confused. I knew the scriptures, but I needed clarification… so the Lord took us to South Dakota for training and used one of his disciples to open up the scriptures and talk to me about the things of the Spirit.

Each morning the teacher would begin to speak and my heart would begin to burn within me. He talked about the Bible, but also about revelation and the Holy Spirit in ways that I had never heard.
I was excited about the material and started looking ahead in the manual. All of a sudden I froze. Spiritual warfare. Strongholds. Spiritual Gifts. Oh my gosh… my experience said everything I have ever been exposed to on these topics gave me the creeps or didn‘t seem right to me. But I felt I should be open to it as long as it was presented in a biblical and orderly way.
After the first week, no one had to define for me what a stronghold was. (It is an area where you believe a lie rather and the truth of scripture and that lie continues to hold you captive and take the ground from beneath you spiritually and I guess sometimes physically.) I realized that all those areas I could never get over, that just plagued me, those thoughts I couldn’t take captive, were strong holds. These things made me feel locked up inside of myself and alone. They totally kept me from doing ministry, from having many intimate friends, and really even from loving my family and even the Lord like I wanted.
The hardest thing I think I have ever done is my life is admit the depths of those strong holds to Michael and another couple who helped me understand how to confess them, repent, and then replace the lie with the truth and take back the ground that they had gained in my life. It was amazing. With each step I knocked down walls and felt like I could stand up. I would say this is an awesome process, but should only be done with mature Christians. In every case it should be handled with caution for many reasons.
Anyway, after that process I was completely blown away that the Holy Spirit kept bringing things to mind that I needed to confess to Michael. Now I was not talking about the lies I believed; now I was having to tell that truth about some of my deepest, darkest places. Finally he said that he thought I had embraced my sin nature. Oh my gosh, he was right!
What I don’t want people to miss is that I had to deal with the strongholds in order to progress to where God wanted me to be.
After this process, I was re-baptized with water and the Holy Spirit baptized me with fire a day later. My theology had not even allowed for that prior to the experience.
I want to share how betrayed I felt at my lowest moments:
How could I get to 35 and have missed all that? It blows my mind! I would say I learned the sinners prayer in church. I learned to confess my sins and knew God would forgive me. I knew I had to stop doing the sin to repent, but never really learned about or understood the importance of consecration or how sin worked in the spiritual realm.
As a result, every thing I was trying to do was still in my flesh because the work of the Spirit was incomplete in me. I always loved the verse “those who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.” , but I was only worshiping in half truths and pressing on in my own power. The spiritual side although often displayed as so exaggerated and disorderly (to us nondenominational DTS folks) is essential to wholeness and effective Christian lives. We just must have a right understanding of it. You know I thought walking by the Spirit meant walking in the liberties we had in Christ. It turns out it is so, so much more than that!
The first verse my dad ever had us memorize was “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away, behold new things have come” That is why I say now I am a Christian. Because, to me, that is a conversion experience. I confessed and repented, gave every area of my life to the Lord and He changed my nature and baptized me with His Spirit. Was I on the road before? Yep! Is God faithful to complete His work? Yep! But I had to hear and respond to the whole truth of scripture before the work could be completed.
What is different now?
First , I have internal peace and feel whole. For the first time I feel like I can experience an abundant spiritual life and transcend my situations. Also those argumentative thoughts are gone for the most part. For the first time I am aware of spiritual warfare. I would say also, for the first time in my life the Holy Spirit stops me or warns me from saying something that I shouldn’t. I know I will really never master that, but it is so much better!
Looking back, questions I wish someone had asked me to answer not only theologically but experientially:
1. When did you place your faith in Christ?
2. Did you consecrate yourself before him? What was that like?
3. Do you sense not only the Holy Spirit working in and around you, but do you have an indwelling
presence of the Spirit?
4. When/ if you were baptized in the Spirit, how did God supernaturally mark or change you?
Actually if someone would have asked me these questions before, they would have made me mad. But I think if they would have accessed me, discovered where I was, then challenged me with just the next question, that would have help me find my way more clearly.
Anyways, I just wanted to share this with you all first. Writing it out helped me to think through it, so thanks for being interested. If you or anyone you know is where I was, it would bless me so much to share what I have learned. For the first time I feel like God can really use me to help set the captives free, seeing as I was held captive so long.

Trying to explain the whole truth to a friend

2008-11-05T20:30:00.007-06:00

The truth is just ugly and offensive to those who think “we are good with God”, so I have beat around the bush in the past. I was a "teacher of the Law" like in John 3. I was teaching... but didn't understand how to be born of the Spirit (and the church never taught me the right things either)...

It is the Holy Spirit that we are missing, He fills that empty place. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, they gave up their life in the garden with God, but also the spiritual life in them that which God breathed into them at creation. They did not die physically, but spiritually. We are all spiritually dead until Christ breaths His Spirit into us, but we have to respond to the whole truth about who He is and what He calls repentance.

The church doesn't teach the whole message.... the religious system of the day is Nicodemus.

After dark one evening, a Jewish religious leader named Nicodemus, a Pharisee, came to speak with Jesus. "Teacher," he said, "we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are proof enough that God is with you."
Jesus replied, "I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God ." "What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?"
Jesus replied, "The truth is, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives new life from heaven. So don't be surprised at my statement that you must be born again. Just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit."
"What do you mean?" Nicodemus asked.
Jesus replied, "You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don't understand these things? I assure you, I am telling you what we know and have seen, and yet you won't believe us. But if you don't even believe me when I tell you about things that happen here on earth, how can you possibly believe if I tell you what is going on in heaven?

There are 2 priesthoods (You can see them in the above passage, Jesus's priesthood and the world's), one blessed by God with eyes and ears to see and hear him (they are born of the Spirirt), one cursed (it sees only half the truth and functions only in the physical realm). It knows some of the things of God but God says they will never enter in and minister before Him (Ezek 44)… But it does not stop them from teaching.

I just found out that many churches, and I would say the majority in America, are under this curse of blindness. They have not found the way and are leading others astray, just like in the following verses. The pastors, priests, minister etc that we see are Pharisees. They know how to make the outside clean (by conveying or living by a moral standard), but never teach you how to clean the inside (how to reclaim the ground in your life for Christ, to tear down strongholds), because they don’t know or don't realize that they don't care. Jesus says this about them:

Luk 11:39
Then the Lord said to him, "You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are still filthy-full of greed and wickedness! Fools! Didn't God make the inside as well as the outside? So give to the needy what you greedily possess, and you will be clean all over. But how terrible it will be for you Pharisees! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you completely forget about justice and the love of God. You should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things. How terrible it will be for you Pharisees! For how you love the seats of honor in the synagogues and the respectful greetings from everyone as you walk through the markets! Yes, how terrible it will be for you. For you are like hidden graves in a field. People walk over them without knowing the corruption they are stepping on."
"Teacher," said an expert in religious law, "you have insulted us, too, in what you just said."
"Yes," said Jesus, "how terrible it will be for you experts in religious law! For you crush people beneath impossible religious demands, and you never lift a finger to help ease the burden.
How terrible it will be for you! For you build tombs for the very prophets your ancestors killed long ago. Murderers! You agree with your ancestors that what they did was right. You would have done the same yourselves.

See how they live by half truths, the outside is clean, but not the inside. They forget justice and the love of god. They beneath impossible religious demands, but never lift a finger to help ease the burden or to set the captives free. God does not know them and look at what He says about them: Fools, murderers. They understand the religious law, but not grace, mercy, whole hearted obedience. The scary thing is that they lead many astray who think they are doing it right and even on judgment day they will be so sure they were right, but the Lord will send them away. Look at this:
Mat 7:21
"Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to me as `Lord,' but they still won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven . The decisive issue is whether they obey my Father in heaven. On judgment day many will tell me, `Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.'
But I will reply, `I never knew you. Go away; the things you did were unauthorized."

Anyways, there it is in black and white, some people (even those who are serving in the chruch as pastor's or pastor's wives in my case) who think they are going to heaven are headed to hell because they are not hearing the whole message and responding to the whole truth. No beating around the bush. I feel called to tell the whole truth and that is where it starts. If it makes you upset, then please forgive me, I don’t mean it like that, but think about if what I am saying is true.

The Loneliness of the Christian

2008-11-01T04:49:00.000-05:00

By A.W. Tozer

The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share his inner experiences he is forced to walk alone. The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.

The man who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience will not find many who understand him. He finds few who care to talk about that which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns the reputation of being dull and over-serious, so he is avoided and the gulf between him and society widens. He searches for friends upon whose garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and finding few or none he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.

It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else.

Who will hear the message?

2008-10-28T14:36:00.001-05:00

Luke3:7-8a
Then he [John] said …do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.'

John 8:39-47
They answered and said to Him, "Abraham is our father." Jesus said to them…
"You are of your father the devil, …"

"He who is of God hears God's words”

Phil 4:8

2008-10-23T09:05:00.003-05:00

Finally, brethren,

(brother, whether born of the same two parents or only of the same father or mother)

whatever things are true, (loving the truth, speaking the truth, truthful)
whatever things are noble, (to be venerated for character, honorable of persons or deeds)
whatever things are just, (righteous, observing divine laws)
whatever things are pure, (exciting reverence, venerable, sacred)
whatever things are lovely, (acceptable, pleasing)
whatever things are of good report,
(sounding well; uttering words of good omen, speaking auspiciously)

if there is any virtue (any particular moral excellence, as modesty, purity)
and if there is anything praiseworthy-- (approbation, commendation, praise)

meditate on these things.

How could this happen?

2008-10-16T18:18:00.003-05:00

Did you ever hear this side of the story?
http://www.dickshovel.com/lsa3.html

Heroes

2008-10-14T16:33:00.007-05:00

So I was reading Genesis today and the Lord showed me this in Chapter 6:

When the human population began to grow rapidly on the earth, 2 the sons of God (fallen angels, or demons because God's angels would not disobey in this way) saw the beautiful women of the human race and took any they wanted as their wives. 3 Then the Lord said, "My Spirit will not put up with humans for such a long time, for they are only mortal flesh. In the future, they will live no more than 120 years."
4 In those days, and even afterward, giants lived on the earth, for whenever the sons of God had intercourse with human women, they gave birth to children who became the heroes mentioned in legends of old.

I don't know how you feel about this, but could it be that we have become so wicked as a society and generation that we have fallen in love with the offspring of demons. Think about shows like "Heroes", "Justice League", "X-men".

What do you think?

Can you see it?

2008-10-09T14:09:00.003-05:00

The following is an excerpt from my bible: To Nehemiah falls the task of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. Israel, who had suffered the wages of idolatry, was now being given another opportunity to serve Jehovah God. After the Babylonian captivity, the Persian king, Cyrus, gave the Jewish people permission to return to their own land. Sadly only a few took the opportunity, but these began the task of rebuilding. They had faced opposition, discouragement, and indifference, but had begun the reconstruction of the temple and part of the city.

This is what the Spirit says to me: “The Church is in the condition of the Jerusalem walls as in the day of Nehemiah.”

Can you see it?

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen" Matt 28:19-20

This is the only way we can build the wall and should build the wall!

Today I say a prayer of repentance for the Chruch, she is broken because she suffers the wages of idolatry. We have made the Holy things of God common, misplaced worship, obedience, preached only half truths and kept back the sacrifices of fat and praise for our own bellies. We/I Repent.

We are being given another opportunity to serve Jehovah God. So today, let us Return to God, Return to obedience and to the supremacy of the great commission, Return the best portion and sacrifice of praise to Him alone who is Worthy!

We will face opposition, discouragement and indifference, but we MUST continue the construction! And then, when in obedience… He will be with us always, even to the end of the age!

Dear Native American Indian,

2008-10-09T13:00:00.003-05:00

Where are you? My husband can hear your songs in his dreams. Our God is very zealous for you and has seen your oppression. He moves our hearts to answer your song. Where are you?

May He guard between us until our paths meet.

Thoughts to Ponder

2008-10-08T14:53:00.002-05:00

Some thoughts to ponder :
1) If one hardens their heart to the things of the Spirit, consider these Scriptures:John 12:36-43; 2 Cor: -6; 1 John 2 10-11The Pharisees…the religious leaders of the day repeatedly demanded that they could see and knew…yet Jesus clearly disagreed with their conclusions.
2) Consider that we are simply expressing what the Logos and Spirit has instructed us to proclaim.
3) Have you ever read the Bible and wondered why one does not see the amazing move of the Spirit or the miracles in Acts…etc.? Have you looked around and seen what appears like the Holy Spirit in the Churches...but everything about it seems demonic; it is neither Biblical nor peaceable. Ever wonder why the church doesn’t obey the clear instruction given by Christ then try’s to justify its position? So did I !
4) Consider Paul’s testimony and Jesus miracles...I was blind now I see. He that hath an ear let him hear what the Spirit says!!!!!!!
5) Jesus clearly taught that some would love the darkness rather than the light.
6) You might be surprised to find out the Old Testament has much to say about you, me, His real Church and a cursed church. You might even discover that you are more important and valuable than you thought …you might discover that the religious system (church) and their teachings which have been so ingrained in society for centuries is in fact prophesied against and condemned in Scripture.

I say these things to encourage you because only the Truth will set you free…

Before you discredit The God of Heaven, you should explore with a true disciple of Christ…not the Religious right or pastors etc…I assure you that more answers are available through the Holy Spirit if your willing.

Michael

"Hey Austin"

2008-10-08T14:52:00.001-05:00

The Lord has instructed us as disciples who make disciples to blow the horn, to sound the warning, to call together a sacred assembly, to restore people to worship Him because He is God alone!, here in Austin.

We/I understand that:
1) Some of you might not see what we are saying!
2) Many of you might disagree with what we will propose!
3) There will be some that have simply given up on God while others are still at least curious.
4) Others will have the Sprit move on you and your spiritual eyes will be opened immediately.
5) Others will become angry and will attack us.

Michael